News

Jogging is usually a safe sport

  • Published
  • By Staff Sgt. Bryan Franks
  • 14th Flying Training Wing Public Affairs
COLUMBUS AIR FORCE BASE, Miss. --  It's 4:20 a.m. on a cold, crisp Saturday morning and my alarm clock is going off. I roll out of bed, grab my phone and begin checking the applications I use before any hunting trip. It's 34 degrees with winds out of the north. According to apps, the wind is still not good for the hunting stand I've been dying to try, but I grab my gear anyway because a good day in the woods is better than almost anything else (I have to include this in my story because I'm married). What do I include in my gear? Hunters orange, flashlight, smartphone (because you have to have games to play when it's slow) cover spray, camouflage, toilet paper (for emergencies), weapon of choice, deer stand and safety harness (because no one is ever around to catch me if I fall).

I head over to the fire department to sign in and check the map to see where, if any, other hunters are. Then I circle my location (keeping my exact location classified) in Area A and by now its 5:05 a.m. and I'm headed into the woods. By the time I'm finished climbing my stand and settled it's 5:15 a.m. and I have about 30 minutes before it's even legal to shoot. Yes, I'm dedicated and maybe a little obsessive when it comes to the sport I love, but it only comes around once a year and lasts for about four months.

Airman John Doe, a.k.a. Airman Snuffy, also wakes up this same Saturday. He had a hard week, commanders and first sergeants were blaming him for things around the base, but to his credit, he's a fitness guru and he's training to run the Christmas Marathon in West Point, Miss. He also checks the apps on his phone to see what the running weather will be like this morning.

Airman Snuffy puts on his running clothes, running shoes, throws his head phone on and is out the door by 6:35 a.m. for his Saturday morning jog. He plans on making this a 10k run so he decides to take the scenic route down the gravel road by the fire department known as Shotgun Road. You would think the name of the road says enough, and this is when it all goes bad for Airman Snuffy.

It's 7:15 a.m., and I haven't seen a thing. I'm tired and feel defeated, but in the distance I hear the faint noise of a trot. I could tell where it was coming from and they usually never come from that direction, but there is always a first for everything. Finally, I can see it in the distance. It's a big deer right in the middle of the road, and he stops off to the edge in the grass...I raise my weapon and fire.

Meanwhile Airman Snuffy is breaking in his new shoes for the race; however, there seems to be an issue with them staying tied. He stops and moves to the edge of the road and bends over to tie his shoe when he feels the sharp pain of what seems to be a branding iron across his butt.

I check to see if my quarry is down, but instead I see Airman Snuffy screaming and dancing around. I don't know why Airman Snuffy was on Shotgun Road. There's a sign that clearly states Shotgun Road is off limits during hunting season, which is from November until the end of January. However it was the reindeer jump suit (antlers included) that really blew my mind. Later on he told me he was training in the gear he would run in during the Christmas marathon.

The moral of the story: Don't run down Shotgun Road in a reindeer jump suit during hunting season.

Both hunters and runners are fortunate to share the great outdoor opportunities Columbus AFB has to offer. Let's all be safe during this and every hunting season. Shotgun Road is designated off limits during hunting season which will be in full swing through January.

(All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. No Airmen or animals were hurt during the writing of the story.)